Full Transcript

Sari
And how many times did we get you ready to quit?

Courtney
I know and like, so I had that conversation with them, like, hey, I quit. And they're like, well, what about this other role? Yeah, okay, like, and it was, what about this other role? And it's this client, and I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, because this could really catapult my success with my business if I get that account. It's like, FaceTime with them. Take the new role. It's like triple the work, although I'm working from home now, but now it's like, I just went from one stress to like a whole new stress. And I remember you being like, what I thought you were going to say, no. I did it anyway. I did honestly, guys. I had to go through it. I had to realize that like and the reason I took it was not necessarily, it was comfort. It was comfort for me. It felt very safe, very comfortable. It's what I've known my entire career was like, well, I'm used to this hustle. It's familiar hustle, even though I'm miserable hustle, right? Like, I'm doing the thing. This client, like, look this book, what it could do for me. And, like, this validation factor coming in, and I definitely had to learn my lesson that like I well, and I also felt this sense of like, again, go back to the people pleasing. I felt like I couldn't say now, because I was, like, so far into like, my commitment with them on it already, that I couldn't say no to the role. So I say yes, and then I'm working like, tenfold what I was already working, and my business started, like, slowly, slowly, like, I had no choice but to, like, start putting on the back burner. And that felt so icky to me, because I just worked so hard and I was so proud and excited of the things that Sari, you and I, like, got to work on and built and brought to life, literally from an idea, a thought, but I just kept going, kept working with the client, and then, I just, I think, I just, yeah, I hit a wall. I totally had a wall, and was like, can't do it anymore, and I'm going to set a date. I did.

Sari
I remember, it just happened that I was in the area of your farmer's market, and I hadn't seen you for quite a while, and you signed up for a few dates last summer, and hence seeing you, you definitely, like, got a little MIA, right, because you were this crazy job, and it was definitely taking a lot from you and you just happened to be at the market, and I saw you, and you were like, we need to talk.

Courtney
Yeah, it was heavy.

Sari
This is, we were meant to, you know, reconnect. And as a coach, I just, it's not always easy, but I never take those things personal. And I feel like, you know you were trying to, you're like, this is really going to help me with the business later on, it's opening doors.

Courtney
I was trying to sell you, like a sale.

Sari
Yeah. I mean, maybe that's true, and, you know, and sometimes my job is just to allow and say it's, I think. And actually, I think the beauty, the gift, and I'd love people to come away with that is like, it's okay, like you're still in business, like, this is wrong. This isn't a like, one year thing. And sometimes we get off the path, and that's like, you're okay, and you're better for it in many ways. And sometimes that's what needs to happen. And there's no timeline on this stuff,

Courtney
Yeah, I was, you know, making good money. I'm, it's Kush in that regard. You know, you get all the validation, the ego, all of those things. But then it was like, the idea that I didn't have enough, or that I wasn't going to be enough to take it to that level, to like, replace the thing that I'm currently doing, felt like such a heavy weight that it was like, just kept me there. Just kept me there. But, yeah, I just, you know, you kind of hit that point where you're like, oh no, that's enough. Like, it's starting to be where I'm walking away so much like I'm putting so much distance between me and my business and this thing that I love in this outlet that's, like, so nourishing and healthy for me when I'm in it, that, why am I choosing this alternate route? I don't have to choose it. Like, and I remember I went to Sedona. I would go to Sedona, like, every year for my birthday, in April. I went to Sedona in April that year. And like, was so stressed out, like I could hardly be present, because, like, you know, I got the client, I had just started that role, and then I actually went again in the fall for a very dear friend, their wedding. And that trip was when like, that was the moment, because there was such this heavy thought and reflection for like, an entire week, just like me, hiking in the desert by myself, like journaling, meditating all the things and realizing, I mean, I think you and I even had a coaching call during that week in my Airbnb, and you got me to picture future me, what like and the life like, how do I want my day to look? And if I was honest, I was like, well, how I want my day to look is nothing like it looks right now. And that was the moment where I was like, whoa. And there was this whole reflection around balance on that trip, and leaning into femininity and like, more of like this feminine. So again, I go back to like, being like, it's easeful, it's flow, it's powerful, but it's more nurturing, it's softer. And what feels that way for me? Guess what? My business. You know, and the things that I'm dreaming up. And so I couldn't deny that. I couldn't put that dream on, like, on mute anymore. It was no longer like that whisper that I talked about at the beginning. It was like, more of a loud like this, it's time, and you have everything that you need, there was like, this inner knowing, like, I have everything that I need, and I got to stop telling myself that I don't and just get out of my own way. And like, I think, I think it's like, I came back and, like, made the decision and did some more coaching, got really involved in coaching with, like, financial coaching and different things, which really helps, because of so much of what I realized now was tied to this, like, whole, like, there's so much belief around financials and uncovering, like, where your fears lie within that, or where your beliefs lie within that, doesn't have to be fears. It can be good things too, and really. So I think that was like two month, like a two month process, and then a couple more months goes by, and then I finally.

Sari
Service of getting ready. We were like, okay, we're on a plan. We're making a plan, getting you ready, and some of it, yeah, I mean, finances is real, right? You still have bills to pay. You still have things that, you know, you need a certain amount of money coming in and, and, I mean, I get that as a so, you know, I'm a solo female entrepreneur, and it can be really scary. And we grow up as women, especially with all these really, you know, really challenging money beliefs often about safety and security and what's enough, and are we going to be able to take care of ourselves and also like hiding in the sand and not wanting to look at it. And so I love that you invested in that financial coaching with the amazing Robin, and we just got you ready and to a place where you're like, I'm doing this.

Courtney
It was that. And then it was networking. I started doing more networking,

Sari
Yeah, and that's what I said. I was like, you got to come out more like you're in a little bubble, in your corporate job. And I remember I was actually thinking about it, because you came to the Elevate group that I did with the chocolate tasting mushroom chocolates and I think that was a big moment for you as well, and the connections and all the things that came from that

Courtney
Just giving myself permission to talk about it, to like, own it, and start shifting this like identity of like I am, well at the we keep saying, corporate job, US Foods like I am US Foods like this is right to like I am a business owner, and like being proud to say that, and like being excited, giving myself permission to be excited to say that, and like, hey, this is what I'm really passionate about. Does it resonate with you? And then I was like, people are like, what? Tell me more. And it's like, I didn't have my elevator pitch figured out or anything.

Sari
But we're talking about it. And you were so joyful. And I just remember telling me, like, what a powerful experience that was to be around other women, and, you know, we're having an experience around food, and you're talking about what you're doing, and people are getting excited and seeing the vision, it's possible. So then we move into, I would say, in Act Three, which is like, okay, you, I mean, you did you quit your job at the end of 2025. Yeah, super scary. But you also, we also work so much on the vision of what this, you know, beautiful business was going to be, and what you wanted to create. And you set yourself up financially with some safety and security, and you had conversations with your partner. Like, you didn't just be like, peace, I'm out, right?

Courtney
It felt like that. It was like, a peace, I'm out, but it was also like, it was definitely methodical, because we had been doing the work, we have definitely been doing the work, and it felt like. Don't think it's like having a child, like, I don't know that there was any moment there I was like, I am ready, you know, like, right now it was more just like, I had to rip the band aid off. I had to burn the ship, you know, like, jump off the ship and then burn it so I, like, would just the ability to swim to shore safely. It was fine. Everything was fine.

Sari
And you also gave yourself some security by you applied for a part time job that was in more of that creative food space, and you got that. And so, you know, I think that there was, you were at, like, there's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to burn the boats and like, and then just be like, okay, baby business, perform for me, right? It's like, you had a due date of like, I'm leaving my corporate job, and you held to that, but you also were like, okay, what if I worked this part time job?,

Courtney
Yeah, I eased myself out of it, right? Like, and that felt really good. That's I needed, that I felt very nurturing for me. And what I needed like, I needed to be seen that like it's okay to feel like, because I think two things were happening. It was like the fear of the financial but it was the fear of also, like staying busy and that being what's productive, and that being what's successful, because that's what I've been used to like that busy is successful, right? That hustle is successful. So it was like a nice, like, calm way to ease myself into the next phase that I had some stability to go from like 150 miles an hour to like zero felt like. So going from like 150 to like, you know, like, I don't know, is a very gradual pace. It was very slow and intentional, and gave me a lot of space to also process, not only like getting my business ready and like allowing but allowing myself space to, like, wake up with the sun, like, and have tea.

Sari
To do some of the things we talked about in Sedona, of, like, what would a perfect day be like? What would your, right?

Courtney
I started to live that, and it was like, you know, you kind of have to pinch yourself but giving it. And then amazing things start happening, right? Then all of a sudden, like, my mind is free enough to start really dreaming and aligning. So I'm networking more, I'm journaling up things more, and now all of a sudden, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, it's no longer just about me growing and selling flowers. Like, how do I help people feel this connection to nature and slowing down themselves that like, they can do a version of this in their life. They can have this balance, right? That was my goal. Is, like, how do we like? Because everybody else is feeling this like pendulum swing, of like, they're on one side right now, of like, or maybe they're not aware of it, but there's feeling like, why do I feel burnout? Why do I feel like all this heaviness? Like, how do I get over here? You can have both, you can have the balance, but it's like being intentional about slowing down amongst chaos, right? Or amongst just like, a busy work day, maybe it's like, and I think I talked about this at the group the other day, was like, I can have my bagel and schmear and run out the door, or I can have my bagel and schmear with some flowers on it and, like, take that two seconds to, like, appreciate the meal I'm having even if I'm still walking out the door with a bagel in my hand. I want to give this experience to other people. Like this is more than now all of a sudden I'm selling flowers. This is like, how do I gift this whole idea to like, to slow down and connect and like, feel what I'm experiencing from working with flowers with other people. And then it's like, okay, then it's like, more of like, a lifestyle thing. And then now we can do this through events, right? And so just the more that I allowed myself to align with what maybe didn't necessarily look good on paper, but felt really good to me, the more that I'm learning to trust myself by surrendering, letting go of control, trusting there's so much like, I don't know, I think, like vitality, you have to be so alive and present in the moment in order to trust. Because, again, it takes you to surrender into the moment. And for me, flowers do that, and that is ultimately the goal with now the events gather in bloom is to bring people into that space, even if it's just for that hour. You know, just an hour, or just that moment, they get to put something on their salad, or their bagel.

Sari
Or their tea, or their chocolate, all the things. And I think so much of us, you know, for the Food Bbusiness Success podcast is like many of us have had these beautiful experiences that got us into food, right? And you talk about your time in Palisade, which was probably very formative. I know you also spent time in France. You'd have a culinary degree. You have loved food, and you've had all these amazing experiences, right? And then you're trying to translate that into a product and, while people might buy the product, it's not like you can give them like it's not like they take in all of those experiences that led you to that product.. And what I loved, you know? And I think the Jen with Moksha Chocolate was who we were. She does these private house parties and so just having that experience, right, bringing other women together and men, right, bringing people together, having this experience, learning about it, slowing down, connecting like food is such this connector. And so it just, it seems such a natural evolution in this next act of your business to go more in to say, yes, I have a product that you can buy, but let me actually help you create like, let's sit in the experience of it first and slowing down, and let me teach you and about all the beautiful, amazing things that flowers offer us, which I'm learning so much about. It's so beautiful. But it's like, you're giving people such an opportunity to create connection. And slow down.

Courtney
And it's definitely, it's built. It's where, like, food and nature and nourishment and beauty, like all come together. And like, I don't know, I think edible flower products and like these immersive events that I'm now doing, it is the place where it helps people reconnect, and that can be to nature, that can be to themselves, and that can be to, you know, whatever is calling them in that space that's needed, right? It's about like, slow like, yeah, it's about slow growth, deep nourishment and joy, so that when they take those products home, they've now aligned themselves to the intention behind, like, how they can use that product in their day to day. It's not just like, here, take the product and like, go home and like, good luck. I think it's, it's deeper than that.

Sari
It's this extension of the experience, the product. It's an embodiment of the experience. And I know, for me, you know, going, you did this some beautiful brunch and bloom last weekend and amazing five course brunch, and it was just like you brought to like, I've never, you know, I mean, I've tried your flowers before, like the fresh ones, and I'm like, okay, I kind of get it. I don't know. It feels weird eating a flower. Now that I've had more of the education and the like seeing you put it all together on food and hearing about all the benefits. And, you know, I took some of those. What's the yellow ones? The calendula. Yes, I took some of them home. I've been putting them on my like, putting some petals on my salad and even on my oatmeal. And it is. It's like, this immediate trigger of like, let's actually like, taste my food for just a second.

Courtney
Yes, I give myself permission to, just in this moment, be present with what I'm doing,

Sari
And even, like your salts, like putting them on, you know, chocolate or on, actually, I brought it to, I gave one to my sister, and we were at a Mexican restaurant, and they we have, like a table side guacamole. And I was telling her about this event, and I gave her a salt, and she's like, well, open it up, and we, like, put some on our guacamole, right there. Like, I was like, look how pretty it is.

Courtney
Yes, avocado toast, just, you know, just got better, you know. And it is. It's like, yeah, no, it's like, it shifts from, you know, back to like. It shifts from me needing to be the one that is selling the flowers to people, but all of a sudden now I'm like, no, I want to. It's more about, like, teaching people and allowing people to experience it for themselves, because then there's so many different ways everybody's going to be in their different like, you said, like, you're not in you were, like, intimidated even to eat the flowers. Like, okay, I don't really see the point, right? And it's like, so how do I get through then there's going to be people who are like, oh my gosh, I love what you're doing. I eat, I grow edible flowers in my own garden. I wish I had more recipes to use. So what I'm trying to do is meet everybody, kind of where they are in the journey, and it to be where it is, like you're taking down the bat, like the obstacles that are getting in the way of like it being approachable and like it can be something that we incorporate into our lives every day, that we can have these slow, small, intentional moments that bring us joy and pleasure and like, why not? You know, why do we, why are we, like, stuck on it's gotta be, you know, fast and efficient. It can still be fast and efficient, why can't it just also be beautiful, right?

Sari
Yes, and help us slow down and just appreciate, right? Have a lot of gratitude, savor it. I guess, a couple quick things I want to really touch on. So I do remember, you know, you were like, you had this vision of, like, the business of how you wanted to help people feel, and the importance of slowing down and all of that. And then you would come sometimes, and you'd be like, like, amped up. And I'm like, okay, Courtney, you have to go first. This beautiful life that you're trying to help everybody experience. Like, dang it. I like, why do I have to go first?

Courtney
And I was like, yeah, I have to put in the work before I, like, tell people, oh my gosh, I just had this conversation with somebody yesterday, too. It's like, and that's still and it's an everyday thing. And I guess what we're saying is, because I want to show up authentic. And again, it goes back to like, allowing myself permission to show up authentic. And so what we're what we're meaning by that is like living in a life that's intentionally slow, and it can still be productive, and showing that using flowers as a catalyst, as the, you know, kind of theactual thing that we're using to get that message across. But I have to embody that in my own life, right? And really kind of take the reins and like life isn't happening to me. I am like, I'm happening to life, you know, like and but I can do it with intentionality, and I can have slower, a slower paced, you know, mindset and way about me, and it also not get in the way of being successful and productive. And so you're right, it's but it is a, it's a daily thing, you know. And I it's so funny you say that because she kept saying, you got to do the work yourself. And it was like, felt like, oh, well, why me? Why?

Sari
I don't know you want to create the business. Do you want to show people how to do it, but it would be inauthentic if you weren't also trying to live a life that way. And it's going to come through in your visuals and your energy, and the emails you write, the social media you put out and I think what you know you're getting to a space where you know, like, if you don't do your meditation and your morning time, and you know, then things don't go as well.

Courtney
They don't go as well. I feel more like, it's like that agitation. I'm like, tired, I'm burning out, like I'm over committed. All of a sudden, I'm like, not in alignment. And so I do, I try to, like, intentionally have those slow mornings, you know, do things throughout the week that I'm intentionally putting towards myself. It might be like, a nice, beautiful meal, and I like, shut everything else down for that 30 minutes, if that's all I have, 20 minutes, if that's all I have, but it's like being intentional in that moment, you know, getting out in nature, gardening more, doing things like today, I was just telling you I did Aqua Zumba with my friend Karen, and totally different. But it was, you know, just something new for me that felt nurturing. I was taking care of myself. I'm prioritizing my own well being, while also running my business. And the more that I stay in alignment with that, the better results that I'm getting in my business. I will also say, the moment I start freaking out about something, let's say it's like, oh my gosh. I just tried to overnight this product to get here in time to help this customer with something else. And there's a weather delay, and soon as I start spiraling, I'm, like, intentionally recognizing that in the moment, doing my best to be like, it's all going to work out. And like, reshaping my mindset to not hone in on all the fears of things that haven't happened yet, but just trust that it's all going to work out. And guess what? Nine times out of 10, like, I don't even know why I freaked out, right? Like, I'm just learning to trust like myself, God, the universe, like, you know, whatever you're you know, whatever you believe. And letting it go and letting it go. And it's giving myself permission to let it go.

Sari
And I think we started this conversation about, like, getting more into out of your head and into more of your intuition, embodying it more. Although, if your head had its way, you would be in about what, 40 farmers markets this summer.

Courtney
Oh yeah, when my head was trying to get in the way.

Sari
We made all these beautiful decisions about this event business and what it's going to be. And you, like, really envisioned it. And you were, like, getting into it. And I was like, amazing. Go run with that, and then our next coaching call. Two weeks later, come with a list, a laundry list, of everything that you need to do for these three or four farmers markets that you've applied for like every weekend.

Courtney
And multiple markets every weekend, and it's just me, like, what am I? I'm like, okay, I'm going to hire all these people, and I got to do all these things, and I'm also going to grow e commerce, and I'm going to go wholesale, and and and and and. And it was, it was that, it was that fear kicking in, that like, I want to do what's comfortable, what feels safe, because I was also scared of my own potential that, oh my gosh, something that feels so authentic in me and aligned. And all these things, all these good things are flowing towards me, connections, you know, things are feeling really easy, but it felt too good to be true, right? And so I start panicking, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this can't be. I got to just oh my gosh. Like, what if I don't make money? Well, I know I'm going to make money if I go to a farmer's market. So now I fill up my calendar. All of a sudden, I'm like, okay, this feels it's gonna be super productive. But I went straight into like, frantic energy mode, scarcity mode, that, like, things aren't going to work out, so I try to control it. That was me trying to control my own destiny, as opposed to surrendering, letting it go and trusting that what I am creating that feels really aligned to me is. Is the right choice, like and it's going to work out and just continuing to like, so it's a muscle every single day, because you're right, we ended up. So what did I do?